Refresh My Heart

Onesimus, Philemon's slave, had met Paul and believed.

Overview

Paul thanks God for Philemon's love. He appeals 'for love's sake' rather than command for Onesimus, 'whom I have begotten in my bonds'. Once unprofitable, now profitable. Receive him 'not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved'.

Going deeper

The gospel reshapes relationships. Paul appeals through love, not authority.

Key verses (KJV)

Philemon 1:10 I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds:
Philemon 1:11 Which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me:
Philemon 1:16 Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved, specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?

From the commentaries

10. I beseech thee—emphatically repeated from Phm 9. In the Greek, the name "Onesimus" is skilfully put last, he puts first a favorable description of him before he mentions the name that had fallen into so bad repute with Philemon. "I beseech thee for my son, whom I have begotten in my bonds, Onesimus." Scripture does not sanction slavery, but at the same time does not begin a political crusade against it. It sets forth principles of love to our fellow men which were sure (as they have done) in due time to undermine and overthrow it, without violently convulsing the then existing political fabric, by stirring up slaves against their masters.
Jamieson-Fausset-Brown, Jamieson, Fausset & Brown, Commentary Critical and Explanatory (1871)

Verse 10 I beseech thee for my son Onesimus - It is evident from this that Onesimus was converted by St. Paul while he was prisoner at Rome, and perhaps not long before he wrote this epistle.
Adam Clarke, Adam Clarke's Commentary (1810-1826)

10. I beseech thee for my son. Since less weight is commonly attached to those prayers which are not founded in some cause of just commendation, Paul shows that Onesimus is so closely related to him as to afford a good reason for supplicating in his behalf. Here it is of importance to consider how deep is his condescension, when he gives the name of “son” to a slave, and a runaway, and a thief. When he says that Onesimus has been begotten by him this must be understood to mean, that it was done by his ministry, and not by his power. To renew a soul of man and form it anew to the image of God — is not a human work, and it is of this spiritual regeneration that he now speaks. ...
John Calvin, John Calvin's Commentaries (16th century, Calvin Translation Society, 1840s-1850s)

Verse 10. I beseech thee for my son Onesimus. That is, my son in the gospel; one to whom I sustain the relation of a spiritual father. Comp. See Barnes "1 Ti 1:2". The address and tact of Paul here are worthy of particular observation. Any other mode of bringing the case before the mind of Philemon might have repelled him; If he had simply said, "I beseech thee for Onesimus;" or, "I beseech thee for thy servant Onesimus," he would at once have reverted to his former conduct, and remembered all his ingratitude and disobedience. But the phrase "my son," makes the way easy for the mention of his name, for he had already found the way to his heart before his eye lighted on his name, by the menti
Albert Barnes, Barnes' Notes on the New Testament (1834-1885)

Application

Where do you need reconciliation?
Why does Paul appeal instead of command?
How does the gospel change relationships?

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